Maple Walnut Energy Bars

What NOT to do when you have a bat trapped in your apartment:

Don't attempt to capture the bat by throwing a blanket over it while it's flying around your head. You will never catch that sonnabitch. It also may pee or poop on you. No fun. I don't even know what bat poop looks like and I never want to find out.

Don't let your dogs in the same room as the bat. The dogs will think it's a chew toy and will chase after the bat like it's life depended on it. For HOURS.

Don't try to remove the bat from the corner of a window with a pair of kitchen tongs. You will get bit and have to go to the ER for a rabies shot.  You may also turn into a vampire.

Don't stare into it's beady eyes. The bat will secure total mind control over you.

What TO DO when you have a bat in your house:

Put as many layers of clothing on as possible, including gloves and a winter hat, despite the fact that it's 92 degrees in your apartment. Carefully open the window, run out of the room and shut the door behind you.

While you wait for the killer vampire bat to quietly leave get the hell outta your bedroom, make some maple walnut energy bars. They take about 10 minutes to throw together, just enough time for the bat to realize that it's out of it's element and that it needs to reck-onize and fly back into the night.

You give the bat an extra 20 minutes, you know... just because, which is exactly how long it takes for these energy bars to firm up in the freezer.

You slowly open the door, in case the bat, in your absence, gave birth to 72 baby bats, and they are waiting on the other side of the door to kill you.

You peek around, realize the bat is gone and slam the window shut.

With all that energy expended you go enjoy yourself a shot of whiskey and an energy bar.

You deserve it.

Maple Walnut Energy Bars (makes 12 bars)
Slightly adapted from Muffin Tin Mania

1 1/2 c. rolled oats
1 c. chopped pitted dates
1/2 c. raisins
1/2 c. raw cashews
1/2 c. walnuts
1/3 c. sunflower seeds
2 T. ground flax seed
2 T. hemp seed
2 T. sesame seeds
couple pinches of sea salt
1/3 c. maple syrup
1/4 c. peanut butter (or any other nut butter)
1/4 c. raw cacao nibs (optional)

Lightly grease a 12 cup muffin tin with a little coconut oil (or any other neutral tasting oil).  This method will give you pretty decent sized energy "cups". However, you can skip this step and form the mixture into small bars or balls and then proceed with the recipe.
Place all ingredients except the peanut butter and maple syrup in a food processor and process until oats and nuts resemble fine crumbs. Add the peanut butter and maple syrup and blend until the mixture clumps together. Divide the mixture between the greased muffin cups and press down to firmly pack contents.
Place tray in the freezer for 20-30 minutes to harden up, then unmold and store in an airtight container in the fridge. If you made bars or balls, simply freeze on a cookie sheet and then transfer to an airtight container or wrap individually in saran wrap and store in the refrigerator.

Black Bean Chocolate Truffles

How about getting a little extra fiber in your diet... In the form of CHOCOLATE??

Now, I'm not talking those miralax fiber chews that you can pick up at the pharamacy.  Those things sound gross.  Don't eat them.... There are much better ways to get your roughage.

Eating beans is a great way to up the fiber in your diet, and what better way to do so than in the form of chocolate... Chocolate DIPPED in chocolate.

Black beans have made their way into brownies, cakes, cookies and now, truffles. 

Pureed black beans are like a blank canvas of creaminess, so when cocoa powder, coconut oil and a some maple syrup make friends with the beans, the result is chocolatey goodness without the guilt.  I've eaten the mixture on it's own.. like alot of it, when I was having a crazy chocolate fit, and it's delicious.  Sure, it tastes a little like beans, but dip those bad boys in melted chocolate and you can barely tell the difference. 

Chocolate Black Bean Truffles (makes 16)
From So Good and Tasty

1 c. cooked black beans
2 T. coconut oil
3 T. cocoa powder
pinch of sea salt
3 T. maple syrup
1 t. vanilla extract
1 c. chopped dark or semi sweet chocolate

Place beans, coconut oil, cocoa powder, sea salt, maple syrup and vanilla in a food processor and process until creamy, scraping down the sides as needed.  Transfer mixture to a container and refrigerate at least 6 hours. 
Roll the mixture into small balls (about 1 Tablespoons worth) and place on a sheetpan lined with parchment paper. Place in the fridge for thirty minutes.
Meanwhile, melt the chocolate in a double boiler. When the balls have chilled, pull out a few at a time (you want them to stay cold, so it's best to do them in batches). Carefully insert a toothpick in the center and dip in the melted chocolate to coat. I found the best way to remove them from the toothpick was with a fork. Carefully slide the fork tines under the side where the toothpick is inserted and slowly twist while pulling upward, placing them on a sheetpan lined with parchement paper. Let them chill a bit to allow the chocolate to harden. Store truffles in the fridge.

Oatcakes

These aren't your typical oatcakes.

Why do I know this?

'Cause I like to look up random facts on wikipedia, so when someone asks me a question on some far fetched subject I will inevitably know the answer.

One day I will be a finalist on jeapordy. Just you wait..

So apparently the Scottish, English, and Canadians all have there own version of a propa' oatcake. 

Some oatcakes are more cracker like or chewy, whereas others are more resemblant of a pancake.

This one here is neither cracker like or chewy and sure as hell doesn't look or taste like a pancake.

Although they look like mini muffins, they are more like a dense biscuit or a cookie.. A cookie biscuit!

My friend/co-worker Renee featured these on her awesome blog, Nourish Your Roots via a recipe from Supernatural Everyday's mastermind Heidi Swanson from 101 Cookbooks.  Both of these ladies got it going on, so I figured if THEY liked them, I would as well.

Packed with oats, whole wheat pastry flour, flax seed, maple syrup, coconut oil and a little organic sugar, and some eggs these are perfect for a quick snack or breakfast on the go.. and because they are so dense, they keep you full for hours.

Oatcakes (makes 12)
Slightly adapted from Nourish Your Roots via Supernatural Everyday by Heidi Swanson
3 c. rolled oats
2 c. whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 t. baking powder
2 t. sea salt
1/4 c. flax seed
2/3 c. coconut oil
3/4 c. maple syrup
1/2 c. cane sugar
2 eggs, lightly beaten
　
Preheat oven to 325 with a rack in the top third of oven. Grease a standard 12 c. muffin pan with coconut oil Combine oats, flour, baking powder, salt, and flax seeds in a large mixing bowl.
In a medium saucepan over low heat combine the coconut oil, maple syrup, and sugar and slowly melt together. stir just until the coconut oil melts and sugar has dissolved, but don't let mixture get too hot. You don't want to cook the eggs on contact in the next step.
Pour coconut oil mixture over the oat mixture. Stir a bit with a fork, add the eggs and stir again until everything comes together into a wet dough. Spoon dough into muffin cups, nearly filling them.
Bake for 25-30 minutes until the edges of each oatcake are deeply golden. Remove pan from he oven and let cool for a couple of minutes. Then, run a knife around the edges of the cakes and tip them out onto a cooling rack. serve warm or at room temp.