Zucchini Bread

There is a brief moment in time, usually the middle to end of September, where the last of the summer produce sits alongside the first harvest of winter squash, pumpkins and apples.  The days still creep up into the upper 70’s, but the mornings and evenings are cooling down, for sure.  A warming corn chowder starts to sound a little more appealing than corn on the cob.  A salad of fresh picked tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella doesn’t sound nearly as appetizing as some hearty bitter greens sautéed with garlic and white beans served with a nice hunk of garlic bread.           

As much as I’m craving kabocha squash, apple cider donuts and roasted Brussels sprouts, I’m trying to cram as much zucchini, eggplant, cucumbers and bell peppers in my mouth as possible.  In a couple more weeks, it’s gonna be squash season until April, so I’m enjoying what I can get until it’s gone.

Luckily, I have several friends that know what the hell they are doing in a garden (unlike myself)and always have an excess of basil, cherry tomatoes, summer squash and zucchini that they are more than willing to give away.

Unfortunately, once I am given all these free vegetables I sometimes have a difficult time using them up before they make their way into the compost bin.  Basil is a no brainer. Freeze it or make an ass ton of pesto and eat it all week long.  Cherry tomatoes can be roasted and thrown into a quick pasta with some of that fresh basil.  Zucchini is one of those vegetables that can be grilled, stuffed or grated and made into fritters. Really, though..my favorite way to eat the stuff is in the form of bread.

I’ve been on the quest to find a tasty, zucchini bread that has SOME redeeming nutritional benefits.  That way when I eat over a half a loaf in a day (breakfast, afternoon snack and as an after dinner treat) I feel no gulit or remorse whatsoever.

Whole wheat flour, walnuts, zucchini, eggs... healthy, right?

Whatever...It could be worse.

Zucchini Bread (makes 2 loaves)

Slightly adapted from 101 cookbooks

1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts, plus a few to sprinkle on top
1/3 cup poppy seeds
zest of two lemons
1/2 cup crystallized ginger, finely chopped
1/2 cup unsalted butter, slightly softened
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar, lightly packed
3 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups grated zucchini (about 3 medium), skins on, squeeze some of the moisture out and then fluff it up again before using
3 cups whole wheat pastry flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Butter the two loaf pans, dust them with a bit of flour and set aside. In a small bowl combine the walnuts, poppy seeds, lemon zest, and ginger. Set aside.

In a large bowl, beat the butter until fluffy. Add the sugars and beat again until mixture comes together and is no longer crumbly. Add the eggs one at a time mixing well and scraping down the sides of the bowl between each addition. Stir in the vanilla and then the zucchini.

In a separate bowl, combine the whole wheat pastry flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Add these dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in two batches, stirring between each addition.

By hand, fold in the walnut, poppy seed, lemon zest, and crystalized ginger mixture. Save a bit of this to sprinkle on the tops of the zucchini loaves before baking for a bit of texture. Avoid over mixing the batter.

Divide the batter equally between the two loaf pans. Make sure it is level in the pans, by running a spatula over the top of each loaf. Bake for about 40-45 minutes on a middle oven rack. Remove from the oven and cool the zucchini bread in pan for about ten minutes, then turn out onto wire racks to finish cooling.

Maple Walnut Energy Bars

What NOT to do when you have a bat trapped in your apartment:

Don't attempt to capture the bat by throwing a blanket over it while it's flying around your head. You will never catch that sonnabitch. It also may pee or poop on you. No fun. I don't even know what bat poop looks like and I never want to find out.

Don't let your dogs in the same room as the bat. The dogs will think it's a chew toy and will chase after the bat like it's life depended on it. For HOURS.

Don't try to remove the bat from the corner of a window with a pair of kitchen tongs. You will get bit and have to go to the ER for a rabies shot.  You may also turn into a vampire.

Don't stare into it's beady eyes. The bat will secure total mind control over you.

What TO DO when you have a bat in your house:

Put as many layers of clothing on as possible, including gloves and a winter hat, despite the fact that it's 92 degrees in your apartment. Carefully open the window, run out of the room and shut the door behind you.

While you wait for the killer vampire bat to quietly leave get the hell outta your bedroom, make some maple walnut energy bars. They take about 10 minutes to throw together, just enough time for the bat to realize that it's out of it's element and that it needs to reck-onize and fly back into the night.

You give the bat an extra 20 minutes, you know... just because, which is exactly how long it takes for these energy bars to firm up in the freezer.

You slowly open the door, in case the bat, in your absence, gave birth to 72 baby bats, and they are waiting on the other side of the door to kill you.

You peek around, realize the bat is gone and slam the window shut.

With all that energy expended you go enjoy yourself a shot of whiskey and an energy bar.

You deserve it.

Maple Walnut Energy Bars (makes 12 bars)
Slightly adapted from Muffin Tin Mania

1 1/2 c. rolled oats
1 c. chopped pitted dates
1/2 c. raisins
1/2 c. raw cashews
1/2 c. walnuts
1/3 c. sunflower seeds
2 T. ground flax seed
2 T. hemp seed
2 T. sesame seeds
couple pinches of sea salt
1/3 c. maple syrup
1/4 c. peanut butter (or any other nut butter)
1/4 c. raw cacao nibs (optional)

Lightly grease a 12 cup muffin tin with a little coconut oil (or any other neutral tasting oil).  This method will give you pretty decent sized energy "cups". However, you can skip this step and form the mixture into small bars or balls and then proceed with the recipe.
Place all ingredients except the peanut butter and maple syrup in a food processor and process until oats and nuts resemble fine crumbs. Add the peanut butter and maple syrup and blend until the mixture clumps together. Divide the mixture between the greased muffin cups and press down to firmly pack contents.
Place tray in the freezer for 20-30 minutes to harden up, then unmold and store in an airtight container in the fridge. If you made bars or balls, simply freeze on a cookie sheet and then transfer to an airtight container or wrap individually in saran wrap and store in the refrigerator.

Raw Brownies

It's hot and sticky.  The AC has been running for three days straight and you've been craving brownies.  Not popcicles, or ice cream or anything else that would actually COOL you down. Brownies.

But.. making brownies means turning on the oven, and that ain't gonna happen.
You consider just eating a handful of chocolate chips, but really... how is that going to satsify a craving for brownies.

It's not.. and you will end up with melted chocolate all over your hands.

So then, you put two and two together.  Why not make a RAW brownie?  An ultra fudgy, gulit free, super healthy, gluten and refined sugar free, vegan raw brownie. They look like brownies and taste like brownies but require no oven, just a food processor and five minutes.

These sweet treats are packed full of walnuts, dates, raw cacao, and dried cherries. They are high in protein, fiber, rich in antioxidants, vitamins and minerals.  They're sinfully rich and dense, curbing the desire to devour the entire pan(which I've done many a time with regular 'ol brownies).  Enjoy as a sweet treat after dinner, or crumble some on top of ice cream for a more decadent dessert. Dessert that's actually GOOD for you....

Raw Brownies (makes 9- 2" brownies)
From my dear friend Jane, via " Raw For Dessert" by Jennifer Cornbleet

1 1/2 c. walnuts
small pinch of sea salt
8 dates
1/3 c. raw cocoa powder
1/4 c. raw cacao nibs
1/4 c. dried cherries
1 t. water

Place walnuts and salt in a food processor and pulse until they resemble fine crumbs. Add dates and mix until it comes together  Add cocoa powder, cacao nibs, dried cherries and water and mix until well combined. Press into a pie plate or small baking dish (I used a tupperware container) and cut into small squares and refrigerate until firm. 
Keep refrigerated.

Garlic Scape Pesto

Garlic scapes are the flowering stalks of a particular variety of hardneck garlic, Rocombole (also known as serpent garlic) due to the curling scapes it produces. If you are fortunate enough to have garlic growing in your garden, save those scapes!  I have zero land whatsoever (don't even suggest windowbox gardening.. my dogs enjoy eating dirt.. 'nuff said), but fortunately I have an awesome farmers market that sells 'em to me dirt cheap.

To be honest, I have never had garlic scapes before. They kind of fit into the category of wild edibles (like ramps, fiddleheads and dandelion greens) that I SHOULD be able to forage for but since I don't know anything about identifying wild plants and all the dandelion greens in my 'hood have dog piss on them I resort to shelling out too much money to get my fix. 

Nine dollars a pound for fiddlehead ferns?  I mean, c'mon...they're freaking FERNS!

Anyways...

Garlic scapes at the farmers market were 10 for a dollar, so I went for it.  You can't buy anything for a dollar these days so I considered it a steal.

When I asked some friends (and google) what I should do with my scapes, having never prepared them before, pesto was the number one response.

I can make pesto in my sleep I've done it so many times, so this came together in about three minutes.

For you unexpericed pesto makers, it will probably take you all of 10 minutes, and that's if you're making it doped up on vicodin.

In other words... this recipe is QUICK. I especially love quick when I've been at work cooking ten hours and can't think about picking up my knife ONE. MORE. TIME.

It will save you from another beer and popcorn night.

Toss it with some pasta, spread it on some toasted baguette, use it as a sandwich spread, dip raw vegetables into it, toss it into a grain based salad. 

Endless options.

Garlic Scape Pesto (makes 1 c.)


6 garlic scapes
1 c. fresh basil
1/3 c. walnuts
1/3 c. parmesan cheese
1 T. fresh lemon juice
1/2 t. sea salt
black pepper, to taste
1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil


Cut garlic scapes into 1 inch pieces. Place in a food processor with the basil, walnuts, parmesan, and lemon juice.  Process into a coarse paste.  With the motor running, slowly stream in the olive oil and process until fully combined. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Store leftover pesto in a glass jar covered with a thin layer of olive oil (to preserve the color).  Or... have a friend over and eat the entire batch.

Strawberry Arugula Salad

After laying in bed for two straight days with a head cold I decided I needed to get out of the house and do something productive...

Of all the things I SHOULD have done (laundry, grocery shopping, taking the dogs for a much needed long walk) I decided to say screw it and go strawberry picking instead.

Priorities.

Plus.. strawberies are FULL of vitamin C, which in turn will help boost my immunity, so I think I made a very wise decision. 

I ate my fair share while I was picking.  You know how it goes: Pick one, eat one. Pick two, eat two... You think I would have learned my lesson when I chomped down on a piece of sand from my unwashed "stolen" berries, but no, I just kept eating more.

So.... by the time I got home I was kinda sick of berries, but those fresh picked babies have to be eaten pretty quickly or else they get all nasty.

I had to think of some ideas...

Strawberry shortcake? Unless homemade buttermilk biscuits and fresh whipped cream appeared at the snap of a finger, it wasn't gonna happen.

Strawberry margaritas?  No tequila in the house. Note to self: buy some tequila.

I wanted some greens for dinner (no brainer), but had to use my berries. A salad... with strawberries? Yes, please!

Strawberries and spinach are a classic combination, but I'm not a huge fan of raw spinach and I had some arugula on hand, so I went with it.  Throw in some toasted nuts and a little cheese (I used walnuts and feta in this case) and make a simple vinagrette and you have a damn tasty lunch or light dinner.

Strawberry Arugula Salad (makes 2 large salads)

5 oz. arugula (one of those clamshell containers worth)
2 c. strawberries, hulled and cut in half
1/2 c. chopped walnuts, toasted
6 oz. feta cheese

Honey Champagne Vinaigrette:

2 t. honey
1 1/2 T. champagne vinegar
2 1/2 T. extra virgin olive oil
pinch of sea salt and black pepper

Combine honey, vinegar, olive oil and salt and pepper in a small jar and shake until emulsified.  Place the arugula and strawberries in a large bowl and toss with half the dressing. Divide between two plates and top with the walnuts and feta.  Drizzle the remaining dressing on top, if desired.

Mujadara Stuffed Collard Wraps

Ever have one of those days where you eat nothing but bread, cheese, beer and more bread?

A bagel for breakfast, followed by SEVERAL beers for an afternoon snack (It was my day off... I was camping... no judgements people) followed by a half a loaf of ciabatta bread with more cheese than a person should eat in one sitting.

It happens.

I always feel like crap the next day and bitch about how I'm never eating wheat again and then I inevitably find myself noshing on a sandwich a couple days later.

On those off days when I'm not binging on wheat I'm usually stuffing my face with lots of fruit and vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds.

It's all about balance....

Sometimes It's hard to get all of those greens down, which makes these collard wraps perfect.  Take a raw collard wrap, stuff it with your favorite goodies and roll it up like a burrito. 

Collards are high in vitamins A, B, C, and K and contain high amounts of beta carotine. They are rich in iron and calcium and high in fiber. They help support our body's detoxification system and contain anti-inflamatory nutrients. 

In other words.. alot healther than a hunk of bread.


Mujadara Stuffed Collard Wraps (makes 4-6 rolls)


1 bunch collard greens, in this case the bigger the leaf, the better
1 batch of mujadara 
1 cucumber, peeled and chopped
1/2 c. walnuts, toasted and chopped
1 batch miso lemon tahini sauce




Wash and dry your collards. Lay one leaf on a flat surface (shiny side down) and cut out the inner rib, leaving as much of the leaf intact as possible. Spread a tablespoon of miso lemon tahini sauce in the center of the collard, followed by 1/2 c. mujadara, some cucumber and a sprinkling of toasted walnuts. Fold in the sides and roll up like a burrito. Cut in half and serve with additional miso lemon tahini sauce for dipping.

Raw Pesto Pizza with Tapenade and Cashew Ricotta

Ok.. let's be real, this isn't a pizza.

Although pesto and tapenade can be found on a traditional pizza, the rest of the ingredients don't really bare any resemblance. The crust is made from buckwheat and flax, brazil nuts stand in for parmesan, and blended cashews make a creamy cheese substitute. 

I love pizza as much as the next person, especially when it's topped with shaved asparagus, butternut squash, or corn and zucchini. I've been cutting way back on my dairy and cheese consumption, so I figured this would be a tasty stand in.  Sure, I could have just piled a ton of vegetables on a pizza crust sans cheese but I wanted to do something a little different...

I've been on a bit of a raw food kick lately.. maybe it's the warmer(ish) weather, or the need to do a little internal spring cleaning, or the fact that summer is on it's way and I'm not sure if my ass is going to fit into my bikini.

I made some buckwheat and flax crackers the other day and decided to use some as a "pizza" crust base inspired by a raw pizza I used to make when I worked at Cafe Gratitude.

So... I whipped up a batch of tapenade using some kalamata olives, capers, garlic, parsley and a little olive oil. Then I made my go-to pesto consisting of spinach, basil, walnuts, olive oil, garlic and a little lemon. 

The restaurant made a delicious brazil nut parmesan which I used to sprinkle on everything.. just brazil nuts, a little garlic and a pinch of salt in the food processor. 10 seconds. Done.

For the cheese, I soaked some cashews for about 4 hours and blended them with a squeeze lemon and some salt thinning it out with a little water.

First I spread the crackers with a bit of the cashew cheese, followed by the tapenade and then the pesto. Then I added a generous sprinkle of the brazil nut parm and a handful of pea shoots.

Healthy.
Delicious.

Raw Food done right.

Savory Oat and Nut Vegetable Burgers

This veggie burger is no joke.
If it got into a fighting match with a boca burger it would do some serious damage.

I'm not a big fan of storebought frozen vegetable burgers. 
Why?
1.They are super expensive.
2.They have way too many ingredients.
3.They taste like cardboard.

These burgers are cheap to make, contain whole food ingredients (oats, almonds, walnuts, vegetables etc.) and come together in two shakes of a lambs tail (aka mad quick)

oats, walnuts, almonds, sesame seeds, nutritional yeast and other savory spices..

grated carrots, onion, parsley and cooked oats...

All together now!

Savory Oat and Nut Vegetable Burgers (makes 2 large burgers)

1/2 c. oats
1/4 c. cooked oats
1 medium carrot, peeled and grated
2 T. parsley, chopped
2 T. onion, diced
1 T. nutritional yeast
1 T. sesame seeds
1 T. tamari
1/4 c. almonds, ground
3 T. walnuts, ground
1/4 t. rubbed sage
1/4 t. mustard powder
1/4 t. celery seed
1/4 t. black pepper
1/4 t. sea salt
oil for frying

First, cook up some oats.  Place 2/3 c. water, a pinch of salt and 1/4 c. oats in a small saucepan.  Cook on medium low heat until oats are cooked. Set aside to cool.
Place 1/2 c. oats, the ground nuts, sesame seeds, nutritional yeast and spices in a medium sized bowl.  Add the onion, carrot, parsley and tamari.  When the oats have cooled a bit stir them in and mix thoroughly.  Place in the refridgerator for at least one hour.  This will help them to firm up so they don't fall apart.
When you are ready to cook 'em up, heat a small amount of oil in a non stick skillet over medium high heat. Form the mixture into patties and place in the hot oil.  Cook 3-4 minutes each side or until lightly browned.  Gently flip and cook for 3-4 minutes on the other side.  Place on a plate lined with a paper towel to absorb any excess oil. 
I served these up on toasted sourdough bread with some lettuce, red onion and a little dijon mustard mixed with some vegenaise. 

Crack open a cold beer, make yourself a burger and get down with it...